Fruity Pebbles: Prehistoric Pleasure Promontories

I wish Fruity Pebbles were stone colored. Imagine popping open a box, ripping thru that bag and dumping out miniature morsels that were not only in the shape of rocks but also the color of rocks. With tablespoon in hand you plunge your rounded stick into the pile then crunch down grinding up rocks like the animal you are. I'm eating rocks, and I love it! You may say, and boy how right you are. Fruity Pebbles is the greatest cereal to ever grace the American Grocery Store. If you've never had the pure joy of a spoonful of 'Pebs' then you have missed out on one of the true links to our evolutionary past. The cross marketing with "The Flintstone's" characters could not be more perfect, the fact is eating Fruity Pebbles makes you feel like a dinosaur. What creature can stand by the watering hole and just grab a rock and crush it with the brute strength of its jaw and molars? I'll tell you which one, Dinosaurs. Why would a dinosaur want to eat a rock you may ask, because it's a Dinosaur it doesn't have cognitive thought all it knows is see, eat, water, sleep, in fact I'm not even sure if Dinosaurs know what sleep is, nevertheless, Dinosaurs ate rocks. 65 million years later we humans now dine on pretty much anything our digestive system can handle, but not rocks. Post Cereal must've figured this fact out back in 1971 by telling us; "We're going to sell a cereal so that people can eat rocks, and they'll like it." Not only did we like these bite size boulders, we loved them. The evolutionary chain had been breached Dinosaurs and Humans meeting together over their love of tiny rocks that become dust in our choppers. When eating a bowl of 'Pebs' I personally can not eat it fast enough the pure mouth joy these hard edged colored stones brings to me is enough to make me finish an entire box within mere hours (even while thinking to myself I have to stop eating Pebs). The only problem with Fruity Pebbles is the color, sure to sell the stuff to kids it needs to be bright and colorful to stimulate the inner reaches of a developing brain but how about a Cap'n Crunch "Oops" Choco Donuts (more on this later) type accident at the factory to get us some legitimate Pebbles in my cereal bowl. Now I know "Cocoa Pebbles" are some sort of mud color and that is a step in the right direction but they just don't taste as good as the Fruity variety. Just a one time special run of Grey, Off Grey, and Sediment colored Fruity Pebbles would surely make for the greatest cereal and one of the true great moments in human history.