I was going to originally post this as a comment on the 911 phone call video below but I think it's too long so here you go:
For years and years I've been warning about this. Monkeys (Chimps and Orangutans in particular) are demons sent from the darkest depths of hell. THE THING TRIED TO STEAL A COP CAR!! THE WOMAN STABBED IT REPEATEDLY WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE AND IT REFUSED TO DIE!!!!! These things are smarter than we think, they only play dumb so that they can pull off shit like this. I’ll bet that fucker understood every word of the English language, IT KNEW HOW TO LOG ITSELF ONTO THE INTERNET! You people thought it was cute that I had a fear of monkeys, who’s laughing now huh? Monkeys are capable of using any weapon we have, they can even fly military jets! (thank you terrible Matthew Broderick movie that I can’t remember the name of at the moment, something “X”?, “Project X”?) and here we sit like fools, training them to do all this shit. WE TAUGHT THEM HOW TO GO TO SPACE FOR CHRISTS SAKE! If you think for a second that these monkeys aren’t secretly training themselves and preparing for an all out war on mankind, well then you’re just a fucking idiot and I can’t help you. And guess what? They don’t even need weapons! They’re like 100 times as strong as humans and have mouths full of razor sharp teeth! The bastard bit off that woman’s hands and then RIPPED OFF HER FACE without even blinking! These things have zero natural weaknesses, no achilles heel. They were built by Satan himself with the sole intention of ripping us to shreds. So gear up morons, buy yourself some rifles and start going to church ‘cause shit’s gonna go down and I ain’t gonna protect you, I’m looking out for number one.
UPDATE:For years and years I've been warning about this. Monkeys (Chimps and Orangutans in particular) are demons sent from the darkest depths of hell. THE THING TRIED TO STEAL A COP CAR!! THE WOMAN STABBED IT REPEATEDLY WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE AND IT REFUSED TO DIE!!!!! These things are smarter than we think, they only play dumb so that they can pull off shit like this. I’ll bet that fucker understood every word of the English language, IT KNEW HOW TO LOG ITSELF ONTO THE INTERNET! You people thought it was cute that I had a fear of monkeys, who’s laughing now huh? Monkeys are capable of using any weapon we have, they can even fly military jets! (thank you terrible Matthew Broderick movie that I can’t remember the name of at the moment, something “X”?, “Project X”?) and here we sit like fools, training them to do all this shit. WE TAUGHT THEM HOW TO GO TO SPACE FOR CHRISTS SAKE! If you think for a second that these monkeys aren’t secretly training themselves and preparing for an all out war on mankind, well then you’re just a fucking idiot and I can’t help you. And guess what? They don’t even need weapons! They’re like 100 times as strong as humans and have mouths full of razor sharp teeth! The bastard bit off that woman’s hands and then RIPPED OFF HER FACE without even blinking! These things have zero natural weaknesses, no achilles heel. They were built by Satan himself with the sole intention of ripping us to shreds. So gear up morons, buy yourself some rifles and start going to church ‘cause shit’s gonna go down and I ain’t gonna protect you, I’m looking out for number one.
I decided this post needed a visual, I also have way too much free time at work today.
1 comment:
nice picture.
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